Muschamp Rd

Top 10 Oddest Keyword Referrals

November 1st, 2006
WTF?

Although I can not recommend publishing a list of the strange keyword referrals your website receives it definitely was a thing to do for a while in the blogosphere. If you want to do better at blogging you’ll want to focus on key words and phrases. Today Google and the other search engines keep this data for themselves for privacy and profit. However I have many years of data from Webalizer, Mint and Google Analytics. I also spent way too much time collecting dubious keyword referrals so here for posterity are the all time top ten strangest keyword referrals:

  1. naked female accordion player cartoon
  2. “injected into my ass”
  3. The Alphabet According to TITS!
  4. big tit milk wars
  5. ass mountain
  6. fussbett sanitario
  7. rich boy sitting in the parking lot googlin lyrics
  8. 1995 diploma for rio grande high in albuquerque
  9. spreadsheets for busniss and business pans
  10. armoured water pistol

Update July 7th 2013

Although I’ve resisted publishing more strange keyword referrals of late, and even went so far as to deleted many of the more dubious postings on my blog, Arstechnica a website I’ve followed for over a dozen years just published their own list of strange keyword referrals. Apparently “hot latex beds” are in this year.

Update Sept. 24th 2013

Google is now going to keep all it’s keyword referral information to itself, so I decided to publish one last collection of strange keyword referrals and update this post. I actually went and deleted a lot of my less valuable content including several posts which were collections of dubious keywords, but this top 10 list has a soft spot in my heart. My old friend Kevin Moore was among the people who enjoyed the collection, so I think this post isn’t going anywhere.

I updated it one last time retiring two phrases while adding in two more ‘winners‘.

33 Comments

  • Muskie says:

    So in perhaps the last update to this list, I’ve retired:

    big bosom better blog

    and

    amputee model

  • Muskie says:

    The time has come to retire this keyword referral:

    “calves!!!”

    Never blog about calves!

  • Muskie says:

    Another month has passed, not much has changed, but I collected some more odd keyword referrals. This meant a few had to be demoted out of the top ten.

    • where to pick up japanese girls in vancouver?
    • how to impress girls by sending sms
    • porn yearly income
  • Muskie says:

    Yes after the passage of many months and who knows how many keyword referrals my exhaustive research has forced me to retire two strange phrases:

    large Chinese granny tits

    pictures of asians with guns

    The real question is, does anyone care?

    Kev?

  • Muskie says:

    The time has come to alter this top ten list, this means the following real keyword referral no longer makes the cut:

    why do asian women have massive calf muscles

  • Muskie says:

    Well it was bound to happen, but “ass mountain” is just too strange to stay out of the top 10. So “satin laughing spreads his wings” has been knocked out…

  • Muskie says:

    For the first time ever (maybe) I’ve decided as strange as some of the keyword referrals have been of late, I’m not changing the top ten. It is going to have to be a pretty odd keyword referral to knock “satin laughing spreads his wings” out of the top ten. Someone did search for “minor for a heart of gold” or something once, but that isn’t as funny of a mistake.

  • Muskie says:

    There are now two new entries into the top ten! The exclimation point is necessary I guess, not sure if it helps the search engines by putting them in, but if one doesn’t get your point across maybe you should use three and quotation marks!!!

    Two new entries means two more keyword referral phrases that have to be retired…

    • home depot screwed my mom
    • optimization of 355mL can of soda
  • Muskie says:

    I’ve added two new entries to the top ten list. It is getting harder and harder to crack the top ten, a lot of worthy contenders ultimately didn’t make it.

    No longer in the top ten:

    • skull with hair
    • women, old people, sick people, and 4F’s
  • Muskie says:

    I was pretty proud of “satin laughing spreads his wings”. You can tell that guy is a die hard Black Sabbath fan. I mean he worships satin! Turbonegro says denim is cooler than leather, but imagine a hard rock band that wore nothing but satin. The sad part is Ozzy and a lot of hair metal bands probably wore satin. Zeppelin well Plant and Page they look like people who would wear satin on stage. I’ve seen them in some pretty poofy shirts.

    Now Motorhead, they don’t wear satin.

    Pink Floyd has a line about a satin shirt from “Comfortably Numb”, let me see no it is from “Nobodys Home”:

    I got the obligatory Hendrix perm,
    And the inevitable pinhole burns,
    All down the front of my favorite satin shirt.

  • Kevin says:

    Like the addition of home depot screwed my mom. But you’re right that is doesn’t beat satin laughing spreads his wings.
    I think peanut butter for pitbulls is still top 10 worthy.

  • Muskie says:

    Another month has passed, not much has changed, but I collected some more odd keyword referrals. I can’t even bother to be original, but some people can and the addition of three new phrases to the top ten proves it.

    That meant three old favourites have been demoted:

    • peanut butter for pitbulls
    • what a woman does with big calves
    • porn widget
  • Muskie says:

    Another month has passed, not much has changed, but I collected some more odd keyword referrals. This meant a few had to be demoted out of the top ten.

    • where to pick up japanese girls in vancouver?
    • how to impress girls by sending sms
    • porn yearly income
  • Muskie says:

    I’ve added two more referrals to my top ten, which means the following two have been retired:

    • Asian heel job
    • I would use the following words to describe myself busty
  • Muskie says:

    After the passage of another month or so, the following keyword referrals fell out of the top ten:

    • fish and tits
    • tea and tits
    • what turns on chinese girls

    I don’t know what an Asian heel job is nor did I try to find out.

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