Based on Google’s recent announcement, webmasters are going to have to do without keyword referrals, so the act of collecting strange ones and blogging about it may well also come to a close. Other search engines will probably continue to send referral data, but Google knows the value of this information and they will gladly sell it back to you at a later date or let you look at aggregate or simulated data rather than the actual keywords used by real people to visit your website.
I’ve made too many of these posts and I’ve been collecting keyword referrals and monitoring web analytics for a long time, longer than Google has existed. As revealed yesterday the keyword that sends me the most traffic is Nurgle. However the most common keyword referral is “undefined” or “not set”. I can’t recommend publishing the strange keyword referrals that send you traffic as it will just result in even stranger keyword referrals. Pandering to the portion of your audience that scours the Internet for dubious content is also unwise. Remember kids, never blog about calves.
I’ve tried to err on the side of funny and keep the truly disturbing keyword referrals to myself, but humor has always been subjective. Here are actual keyword referrals I’ve collected over the last few years, some few may make it into my all-time Top 10 strangest keyword referrals.
Sometimes they are even funnier when grouped together, but that also leads to even stranger keyword referrals.
- funniest asian face ever
- meet korean girls in vancouver
- why korean women have big calves
- why japanese girls have big calves
- Curvy Korean
- Hot Chinese Woman Weightlifter
- Alphabet according to tits
- cat boob
- BOOBS POWER
- “proud of her bust”
- boobs are important
- hitomi tanaka power rangers
- why are some men obsessed with calves
- girls obsessed with calf muscles
- daikon calves
- julia and her amazing calves
- 1995 diploma for rio grande high in albuquerque
- most common last name with mba
- does writing about klout increase your score
- how to steal spreadsheet from work
- spreadsheets for busniss and business pans
More Actual Keyword Referrals
Sometimes I get keyword referrals I’m particularly proud of so here is a list of those too. These are taken from the same text file which is now over 3000 lines long, each line a keyword referral generally taken from Mint but also other web analytics programs.
Although I can’t be 100% sure the referral matches the content still, I think I will link strategically in this section, it might help my SEO.
- have you ever been so mad you wanted to throw a cactus?
- why “Venture capitalists” entrepreneurs read zen and the art of motorcycle
- Where in japan is the godzilla statue
- venture capital spreadsheets
- toyohashi ramen
- Most awesome gif ever
- starting an entrepreneural venture
- Bud Grant
- what is the importance of timelessness?
- “software developer” + “japan” intitle:resume
- Music “has helped me get through some tough times”
- open source vs commercial software
- what battles did the mackay clan fight in ?
- concentric circle theory of popular culture
- are there muschamp in canada
- foucaults pendulum 1344 666
- bad cover letter benchpress
- studying at tsinghua experience
- great canadian guitarists
- china weightlifting controversy
- why did dave davies not sing with kinks at olympics
- noise marine conversions
- how to paint rotting flesh
- “wrote in cthulu”
- fancy excel spreadsheet
- muskie’s cfa questions
- recurring themes in kubrick’s films
- union bay mckay
Finally here are the names of some of my Sauder MBA classmates, many of which have been pretending nothing is wrong, nothing can be done, and no one was negatively affected by anything that happened during our MBA at UBC in 2005. I guess they like to pretend no one ever Googles them either, I definitely do not Google my former classmates. But here are their names in print for vanity’s sake:
- lanre arikenbi
- damien vilaysane
- gary lau vancouver bc mba
- raul aviña, vancouver
- marlene lau ubc dewolfe
- chris kerluke
- shantel fedyna
Always remember that the purpose of Google Analytics is to sell advertising, that is why you get to use it for free and it is so closely integrated with AdWords.
The two phrases I’m going to add to my all-time top 10 are:
1995 diploma for rio grande high in albuquerque
spreadsheets for busniss and business pans
I mean if you can neither spell business nor plan, perhaps you’re not ready to open a business, no spreadsheet you download online will solve all your problems, let me assure you of that. I’m Internet famous for posting spreadsheets online.